So here we are again. This past week has been a good week diet wise actually, I even went to the pub last Friday and only drank water! (Though this does have more to do with the fact that I am poor, but payday tomorrow, WAHEY!)
Haven't been snacking either; I think my only slip up has been the Kitkat Chunky that I sneakily munched last night, so all in all I have been a good boy (Hear that Santa? Yeah, you heard me.)
So, without further ado, let's get cracking:
LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT:
203lbs
(14st 7lbs/92kg)
WEDNESDAY WEIGH IN:
201lbs
(14st 5lbs/91kg)
GRAND TOTAL LOSS OF:
2lbs!
OH HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE BABY JESUS! Well that's an astounding result I believe!
In 3 weeks I've managed to lose 4lbs and therefore have succeeded in losing between 4-8lbs before Christmas! Ah, Christmas. Now this next week is going to be the big test isn't it? Because tomorrow night I am off out for my friend's birthday, Saturday is my work Christmas do, then Sunday I have my first Christmas dinner, followed by another on Monday and then the big proper one on Tuesday! Though what with driving about and whatnot it's only on actual Christmas day that I will be able to drink so I suppose that's a kind of (very well hidden) blessing.
Now, I'm not too sure what's going to happen with next week's blog, I am going to do a Christmas one, and may do a separate one for the weigh in, but at the moment I am not 100% sure, so I'll just wing it and see how things go along.
But, in any case, I hope all 3 of you that read this have a fantastic Christmas, I hope you get very drunk and embarrass yourselves by causing a scene and I will see you when we're all sick of the sight of stuffing and gravy.
PEACE AHHHHHHT.
(before I go, here's the most unintentionally funny Christmas song you will ever hear, this is my gift to you:)
Oioi!
So, it's been a week since my last post, and how much of an amazingly exciting week it has been!
So, as some of you may know, I have been learning to drive on and off for about 4 years (had a 2 year break in the middle for some university drop out times) so it was rather exciting when i finally went and attempted my practical test on Tuesday. I was incredibly, amazingly nervous, which is weird because I had just done an hour long lesson and completely bossed everything so I am obviously quite competent when it comes to being behind the wheel (well, I'm no Lewis Hamilton but I'm very safely out of the "oh-look-it's-George-Micheal-going-into-the-front-of-yet-another-Snappy-Snaps" zone). My examiner was called Bob, who was very friendly and we spent the first ten minutes of the driving round chatting about me being a Greengrocer and, in classic British fashion, how the weather was shit.
And then came the manouvre.
Now, usually, a turn in the road for me is so easy I could almost do it with my eyes closed (except you can't do it with your eyes closed because that's probably illegal), but for some stupid reason my nerves got the better of me and I decided that what the manouvre really needed was more speed, so I ended up bumping the kerb whilst reversing and then did some sort of Strictly worthy waltz around a parked car that left me with a brain full of "FUUUUUUUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCKIVEFAILED" whilst I then had to endure about 20 minutes of waiting to be told that I stuffed it royally. After the turn in the road debacle I decided not to talk to Bob anymore, because as harbinger of my forever a pedestrian doom I didn't like him much after that. So when I pulled back into the driving test centre carpark and he turned to me, and my instructor, the lovely Tina (whose services you can find by inquiring here)was stood outside the car with her fingers crossed I was actually quite prepared to cry.
But then, something amazing happened....
I ONLY WENT AND BLOODY PASSED FIRST TIME, DIDN'T I?!
So yes, that was most, exciting. Bloody well done me.
So now I am free to tear up the streets in my lovely little car. Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you: ELAINE!
And I think we are all in the same mind here: what a sexy beast.
So yes, that is the excitement of that. So to celebrate I went over my friend Charlee's house, drunk a whole bottle of vodka and about a billion liters of tango and haven't felt not hungover until right at this very moment, which is why I don't have high hopes for the:
CARLO'S SECOND WEEKLY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY WEIGH IN
So baring all the boozing in mind, I'm going to predict that I've either put on weight, or stayed the same. (Also, I had a massive burger the other day because I was watching Diners, Drive-Thrus and Dives and they made an amazing burger that I had to try out at home.) Here we go:
LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT:
204lbs
(14st 8lbs/92.5kg)
WEDNESDAY THURSDAY WEIGH IN:
203lbs
(14st 7lbs/92kg)
GRAND TOTAL LOSS OF:
1lb!
Now I know last week I wasn't happy with a pound loss, but this week, because I genuinely did think I would have put on weight, this is a nice surprise! So all in all, quite a good week.
Right, I have to go off and jump start my car, so if there are no more blog posts I electrocuted myself and left a fat corpse behind (gutted, pulbearers.)
Until next time, here is the little ditty that I now you were humming when you read the title: ciao!
Hey guys, well here we go, the moment we've all been waiting for! Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to:
CARLO'S FIRST EVER WEEKLY WEDNESDAY WEIGH IN
AND LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S A DOOZY! OH MY GOD HAVE WE GOT SOME SURPRISES AND AMAZEMENT IN STORE FOR ALL YOU LUCKY READERS!
......Oh maybe not, it's just my weigh in, but come on guys! Let's try to be excited, shall we? Everyone excited? Good.
I'm not too sure how this feature is going to go down down, but hopefully after a few weeks it will have some sort of exciting formula to it... Maybe. But I suppose we should really get jiggy with it, so here goes:
LAST WEEK'S WEIGHT:
205lbs
(14st 9lbs/93kg)
WEDNESDAY WEIGH IN:
204lbs
(14st 8lbs/92.5kg)
WHICH IS A GRAND TOTAL LOSS OF:
1 sodding lonely pound.
What a bummer. I was hoping for at least 2lbs, buttttt I suppose at least I didn't step on the scales and see that those 6 large glasses of wine had decided to reap yet more revenge upon me and make me gain weight.
This is not the exciting first weigh in that I wanted, but, to quote myself from the first post:
"A rate of 1/2lb loss a week is apparently the healthiest, so using that I should be losing 4-8lb a month: By Christmas 2012 (1 month from now) I should be in the region of 201-197"
And what with 3 weeks until Christmas, I am most likely going to fall between that weight bracket, so hopefully, all shall not be in vain and I will not have to spend Christmas crying hysterically whilst shoveling stuffing into my face with my hands during the Eastenders Christmas Special (don't judge me - I don't pick to watch Eastenders, it's what my step-mother will put on).
But yes, this has been a bit disappointing hasn't it? To make up for the damp squib of a celebration here's a picture we can all agree is pretty exciting:
Yes. Well I'm off for a slice of toast..... and a cold shower.
Hello everyone! It's now officially December and so I think that even the biggest Scrooge's among us are starting to feel the slightest bit of "OHMAGAWDSANTAISCOMINGGGG" mania. Decorations are going up (or, if you live with my Mother, they've already been up since the middle of November), the tins of incredibly overpriced biscuits and chocolates are being cracked out on living room tables everywhere (how does everyone else manage to get to the strawberry cream ones first?), and, most excitingly, it's now acceptable to whip out this bad boy that I have to skip past on my phone for all the other 11 months of the year:
And I think we can all agree, that is, what they call, A TUNE.
Usually I find the most exciting part about this year is that, because it gets darker early, the hours within which it is socially acceptable to drink get longer ("it's 5'clock somewhere!" is my favourite "don't judge me" line). But alas, this year, due to all this trying to lose a bit of weight malarkey I am going to have to forgo all the excitement of cracking open a bottle of £3.99 Rucio wine at half 4 in the afternoon.
That being said, I do have a bit of a confession to make. You see, I went out on Saturday night, primarily to go and see the Christmas Fayre they have started putting on in the town every year, and secondarily to go to the pub and meet my friend's sister who was up from the shires of Devon.
Now, I finished work at 2pm on Saturday, and I planned to nap for a bit and then set off to the Fayre around 7 to have a look at all the overpriced, home made organic hand washes and pretend that I look interested in them, whereas in actual fact the only way they'd get me to part with my hard earned greengrocer dollar would be to be selling Tom Daley (I picked him over Tom Hardy because you just know Daley would do anything for a fiver and to have his picture taken), after which I would then go to the pub, have one glass of wine and then retire to bed ready for work the following morning.
What with all that being planned, I was quietly confident that that was how it would all go and it would be a bloody marvelous evening, fueled mainly by festive cheer. Well it got sent down the creek without a paddle when we arrived at the Fayre at half 7 and it had all been packed away and there wasn't a homemade organic candle, nor even a mince pie (not that bothered abut the last bit, not a fan of the mince pies, which, as we know, are lies wrapped in pastry) in sight. And so, we headed to the pub, which then turned into two pubs, and my one glass of wine turned into six large glasses of wine, accompanied by two shots of Apple Sours and an exploit I barely remember whereby I got the number of someone I went to school with and attempted to sext them with wine brain. Which is completely magical and appropriate behaviour, I'm sure you would agree.
So yes, that evening didn't go according to plan. On top of that festive binge, I also have not even once attempted to go jogging since the first trial, but in my defense the weather outside is frightful, and the fire is so delightful (but don't let it snow, because I hate the stuff). Butttttttt, in good news, I have done well with the whole not stuffing my face full of cheese, biscuits and crisps so the eating is on track - in fact, the My Fitness Pal app keeps telling me if I keep eating like I am I will become malnourished and die ("I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight!") Which leads me to believe, seeing as I really don't seem to be eating much less than I was, that sometimes the app is full of shit. It seems impossibly hard to eat 1800 calories a day, I keep having about 500 left after everything I've eaten during the day, and almost feel as though I should snack on a bag of sugar to make it up. Or, maybe, that is their clever little ploy to keep you using the app, because if you aren't a fat blob you won't use the app and they would get no money from their adverts. Hmmmmm.
But anyway, fingers crossed that all goes well for the upcoming (drum roll please:)
Cheers, YouTube.
*ahem* FINGERS CROSSED THAT IT ALL GOES WELL FOR THE UPCOMING, FIRST EVER, SET TO BE A WEEKLY THING:
CARLO'S WEEKLY WEDNESDAY WEIGH OFF
WATCH AS CARLO TAKES ON A SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST AS MAN GOES AGAINST FAT, HOMO GOES AGAINST UNFABULOUS FLAB, AND A BORDERLINE ALCOHOLIC GRAPPLES WITH HIS POSSIBLY GENETIC DEMONS.
So yeah, that will be happening on Wednesday. Good stuff. Please feel free to weigh in with me and share your triumphs, or even if you've accidentally swallowed a hammock of cheese and gained six pounds, it's all welcome over here.
See you all Wednesday!
SOME CARLO STATS:
Jogs to date: 1
Miles jogged: 2.44
Mad collies, that think I'm a sheep, encountered: 1
Christmas Fayres missed: 1
Large glasses of wine drunk: 6
People from school I have unsuccessfully attempted to sext: 1
Times I have listened to All I Want For Christmas Is You during the writing of this blog : 12
